Oh, the times they are a changin'. Armour hot dog song circa 1967: "Hot dogs, Armour hot dogs what kind of kids eat Armour hot dogs? Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks. Tough kids, Sissy kids, even kids with chicken pox love hot dogs...Armour hot dogs, the dogs kids love to bite."
Can you imagine if this jingle were used now? Sales of Armour hot dogs would plummet, people would picket the corporate headquarters demanding an apology on behalf of their cherub children everywhere and then the vaccination folks (pro and con) would point out why it is good/bad for kids to have chicken pox. The hashtag would go something like this: #armourhotdogmean or #hotdogbullies. I can see it now, Trending on Facebook would say, Armour Hot Dog Belittles Children, Calls them Fat and Sissies! There would be a bunch of YouTube videos calling Armour out for fat shaming.
The politicians would be racing to introduce legislation making it illegal for corporations to stop any advertising that may cause any irreparable harm to the psyche of young children. Of course, Michele Obama would remind everyone that we shouldn't be serving the children hot dogs anyway, as they have little nutritional value and should be immediately stricken from the federal school lunch program (true as it may be...150 calories, 13g fat, 4g protien and a whopping 550g sodium), but still well within the parameters for the federal lunch program as it is now written. The news stations would post updates on facebook all afternoon with pictures of the federal government pulling computers and file boxes out of the corporate offices. They would ask, "Do you think Armour should be pulled from shelves?" baiting us to argue with each other.
The text in red is my little "in defense of the lowly hot dog" and is not germane to the rest of the article, but nevertheless necessary in my opinion, feel free to skip it...except the part about my friend Melanie's Blog, In Pursuit of Maine:
[Let me take a moment to clarify that hot dogs indeed get a bad rap. Everyone has seen the Facebook drivel that warns that hot dogs are made of lips, hooves, organs, etc. It's not true. According to the FDA website there are standards that all hot dog producers must adhere to, including what can be used in the making of said sausage. Frank Focus: What's Really in a Hot Dog by Allison Ford (thanks to my friend Melanie Lee, author of In Pursuit of Maine Blog, I have inserted actual links...she reminded me about the handy dandy link button...now click on her link, it's an awesome blog) explains that "the basic ingredients in the average supermarket hot dog are far less exciting that what some fearmongers would have you believe." Ms. Ford goes on to explain that the ingredients contain meat (of course, not filet mignon, but meat just the same), fillers like flour or cereal...although most hot dogs I've seen are gluten free so they aren't using wheat products; seasonings, spices, binding and curing agents.]
We have become so politically correct, so sensitive to offending or being offended that we have become a country of victims. I will not minimize the victimization of whole groups of people, that is not my point. My point is, why are we so sensitive? Why is everything offensive? Why must we look to every thing as a personal attack? We need to lighten up. We need to learn to laugh at ourselves and WITH others. When you get down to it, we all wish for the same thing, that is to be "an Oscar Mayer Wiener, that is all I truly wish to be, 'cause if I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener, then everyone would be in love with me." (Admit it, you sang that in your head when you read it!)
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